Stuck
in Blogs
By Jamie
Well, I did it to myself really. A month ago I said something along the lines of ”I’ve been loosing 2 pounds a week, gee, I hope I don’t hit a plateau soon”. Guess what? I haven’t lost a single pound since I wrote that. Of course the Girl Scout cookies didn’t help my situation, but still, I’ve got to get that scale moving, I’m leaving on my Mexico vacation in five weeks. My original dream of loosing 20 pounds before I hit the beaches of Cabo is dashed, but I still have time enough to loose 10.
Again, exercise is not my problem. Even without my gym membership, I’m getting 30-60 minutes of exercise a day. I’ve been doing the Couch to 5k workouts on the treadmill and I’ve been loading my boys up in the double stroller (that I’m guessing weighs nearly 80 pounds with my two boys and all their stuff loaded in it) and going for a 3.5 mile walk at least 4 times a week.
So it comes down to the usual suspect. FOOD.
I’ve already admitted to my Girl Scout cookie binge, and I feel like I have to disclose the fact that the recent Springy weather we’ve been having lately has driven me into the loving arms of my old friend the strawberry cheesecake milkshake on more than one occasion in the last two weeks. Nice weather just cries out for ice cream doesn’t it?
Herein lies my problem. I REFUSE to give up my occasional indulgence of a full fat strawberry cheesecake milkshake or my yearly Girl Scout cookie free for all. I like to share an order of french fries with my son sometimes or have cake at a birthday party. I love food, and my diet needs to allow for me to enjoy the foods I love in order for me to be successful in the long term.
I think it’s time to set some ground rules. If I’ve had a good food week, if I’ve eaten healthy and in moderation all week long, then I will allow myself one splurge item. Not a whole meal, but one thing, like my milkshake or fries or maybe even a cheeseburger. If I know there’s a birthday coming up, I will need to plan for that if I want to have some cake, if I already splurged that week, well, I guess I’ll be grazing at the veggie tray instead. Easter is coming up, so I’ll need to make sure I don’t mindlessly eat all of my son’s jelly beans while I’m filling up his Easter basket.
I’ll give it a try this week, I’m hopeful that knowing that I can have my splurge guilt free will keep me from cheating on my diet, feeling bad and then guilt binging on cookies. I’m also hoping that sticking like glue to my eating plan will help kick my weight loss back into gear.
March 23rd, 2009 at 2:50 pm
Milkshakes, cheeseburges, cheesecake, french fries, and similar foods have no place in the diet of an adult who is trying to lose weight. Not even as a “once a week splurge.” You just can’t lose weight when you eeat like that — unless you starve yourself 6 days out of 7.
Is there an emotional trigger? Do you feel like you “deserve” a treat because life has been hard lately?
Look at what is motivating your unhealthy food choices, and (if you are anything like most of us) you may find that self-pity, resentment, fatigue, loneliness, or anxiety are driving the bad food choices.
The next time you want a milkshake or similar “splurge” food, try to verbalize what is driving you. Write it down in a journal or call a friend and tell her what is going on. I find that when I do this, I am always able to say no to the self-destructive compulsion and to eat a nutritious, reasonable, planned meal.
March 23rd, 2009 at 3:19 pm
I disagree with Rhaazz. Food is meant to be enjoyed and we all have foods that are especially wonderful to us, though perhaps not the most healthy option. As I’ve worked with young girls with eating disorders and interacted with psychologists and counsellors, I have come to one conclusion – moderation IS key.
Indeed, our weekly food intake should be mostly comprised of healthful items, I strongly believe that a complete ban of any particular food will actually inhibit our ability to view food in a healthy way. My most successful weightloss has occurred during times when I allowed myself some treats (such as ice cream or fries) while otherwise maintaining a healthy, portion-conscious menu. I also maintain my current healthy weight in this way. Sometimes even knowing that the treat is available helps to curb cravings at other times.
Food is not about ‘never’ rules. Food is about proportions, moderation, and wise decisions. And if the easiest way for you to manage that is to choose the once-per-week treat, then go for. And then DO eat wisely most of the time, choosing healthy items over junk. You will enjoy it more and stick to it all the better for having recognized that you are human and that food is ultimately for your nutrition AND enjoyment.
March 23rd, 2009 at 4:49 pm
I would have written out exactly what Ellen said. I respect rhazz’s opinion but disagree as well.
March 23rd, 2009 at 5:32 pm
(1) When an overweight person consumes a milkshake, it’s self-destructive. It’s no different from smoking or any other addiction: the person is choosing short-term pleasure at the price of deadly long-term effects.
(2) Just as addicts must completely abstain from the addictive behavior or substance, some people can “never” have certain problem foods. “Never” is much, much easier than “sometimes.”
If you have had a serious weight problem for a significant period of time, you may very well be eating for emotional reasons. If that’s the case, you cannot “occasionally” indulge in junk food anymore than a gambling addict can occasionally indulge in playing the lottery.
March 23rd, 2009 at 6:26 pm
Rhaazz, I vehemently disagree! The milkshake isn’t necessarily self-destructive. She’s making good choices. Your argument about addiction absolutely doesn’t fly when we’re talking about food. Food is honestly like keeping a budget. You can’t STOP spending money. You can’t STOP eating. So, if you “spend” too much on one day, you’re going to have to compensate on other days. What Jamie is planning on doing is smart, in my opinion. I have known may people who have tried many, many, many different ways of losing weight. Those who were most successful, long term, were not the ones who said, “No, never” to some foods.
Jamie, go you!
March 23rd, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Well stated, Tessa.
Food is not an inherently harmful substance and therefore cannot be treated as such. And food IS inherently meant for pleasure as well as sustenance (or else why so many flavours and textures?), meaning that we need to come to a place where we can exercise moderation. Completely cutting out certain foods statistically leads to more failure than learning the ability to monitor how much and when.
March 24th, 2009 at 5:22 am
I can see both sides of the issue here — and that means I see where Rhaazz is coming from as well. I absolutely agree that food is not an all-or-nothing endeavor, and we all need our indulgences from time to time, and that is FINE.
BUT. I was a little taken aback at the strawberry cheesecake milkshake, the french fries, the cheeseburger, etc. If you’ve lost the weight you’re trying to lose and you want an occasional indulgence, go for it. But if you have a fairly lofty goal of 10+ pounds in five weeks, I just don’t think you can eat like that, even once a week. I’m sorry, I don’t.
I have my own “trigger” foods, that I know I can’t eat just a little of, and that’s why I say this. I don’t buy potato chips or french fries because I don’t eat just a few once a week, I eat the whole damn bag, and it’s honestly easier for me to not even have them around for consideration than to say “well, today is my indulgence day.” I just feel worse afterward.
These are the things that work for me, and if you disagree, that’s fine. I’m not trying to offend anyone here.
March 24th, 2009 at 5:43 am
I thought of something else I wanted to add — have you ever tried to find similar but healthier substitutions for snacks you enjoy? As I said before, I love potato chips and dip, but obviously, that should be avoided. So recently, I’ve found that I really like Triscuits and hummus, or baby carrots and dip.
You love strawberry cheesecake milkshakes, so a possible substitution might be strawberry frozen yogurt, or an italian ice. They’re both cold and refreshing on a warm spring day, and yes, they don’t taste quite as fantastic — but they’re also probably not the equivalent of half-a-day’s worth of calories in one fell swoop, either.
March 24th, 2009 at 5:52 am
I can see both sides to this issue. My general “rule” is moderation. I also believe that food is not “bad” but eating habits can be “bad”. IMHO, when I am trying to lose a signifigant amount of weight (10 lbs. or more) I restrict my eating to healthy foods. Once I reach my target weight, I try to go to a “maintain” mode. Realistically, I won’t give up sugar, carbs, junk food forever. I know this about myself. My problem is maintaining a consistent exercise plan. I know that if I have a good balance of healthy food and regular exercise that I can attain and maintain a healthy weight. It is keeping the balancing act going that is difficult.
March 24th, 2009 at 6:50 am
I think I need to clarify that I’m not talking about a huge milkshake or a giant order of cheese fries or even a big cheeseburger (acutally cheeseburgers aren’t all that tempting to me anyway, not sure why I used that particular example). But I think that sharing a small order of fries with my son, or the small milkshake (think child size cup at a fast food place) isn’t going to break my diet if I restrict it to once a week. Now that Girl Scout cookie season is over, it’ll be a whole year before that binge anyway. If I splurge on any other cookie, I’m pretty good at keeping it at 2 oreos or 1 homebaked cookie.
I am an emotional eater, BUT, this isn’t about emotional eating, this is about me wanting to indulge in a food I love without feeling like I killed my diet. It’s about including the things I love IN my diet so that I can look at this more as a lifestyle change, something I can continue for the long term without wanting to cry because honestly, a life without ANY strawberry cheesecake milkshakes ever? I think I’d rather stay fat thank you. I love them THAT much.
And then there’s that 10 pounds in 5 weeks. That’s a goal. Something to keep me focused. If I can stick with my above plan and loose even just 5 pounds, I think it’s worth it.
March 24th, 2009 at 9:40 am
I’m sorry, Jamie, I need to apologize to you. I also need to apologize to everyone else. I came across as though I was saying “anyone who consumes a milkshake once in a while is a food addict.”
I am certainly NOT qualified to diagnose anyone else’s problems.
What I should have said is, “I am a food addict. When I consume junk food, it is a self-destructive act. I know that I will always want to drown my sorrows in food.”
For me, “sometimes” or “cutting back” doesn’t work when it comes to junk food; it has to be never.
I haven’t had a milkshake since 1991, and I don’t miss them. I lost my appetite for that stuff. But I will always have a problem with food, and I will probably never be slender.
I am very, very sorry that I wrote a critical comment, I can’t tell you how sorry I am. You were honestly sharing your successes and struggles and then I insulted you. That was not cool.
March 25th, 2009 at 7:02 am
Wow, first of all, can I just say how awesome it is that this discussion is civil? I’m not being facetious — it seems like so often topics like this, with people whose opinions differ strongly, can so quickly devolve into cattiness and self-rigtheousness and instead, here’s a thoughtful, considerate discussion! It really gives me faith for humanity….
Others have said it better, but I feel like the surest way to “fail” at a diet is to turn it into a bleak, unhappy denial process. My issue isn’t really trying to lose weight (although 10 or 15 lbs would probably be a good idea) as much as it is realizing that I’m not exactly treating my body like a temple and that I need to be more grown up about my decisions. What is working (slowly) for me, in addition to falling off and doggedly climbing back on the exercise wagon (how come there are no calories lost there?), is really retraining myself to truly get excited about the healthier options and actually enjoy them, and not see them as “less than” what I’d really rather be having. That way an indulgence like a milkshake really is just an enjoyable indulgence and not a trigger for guilt and backsliding. I guess I’ve finally realized that it’s only, like, 20% what you *do* and the other 80% is in your mind. That’s incredibly cheesy and “duh” — I know. I guess it’s just taken me a long time to figure it out.
March 25th, 2009 at 11:50 am
If I’ve learned anything, finally, after years of yo-yo dieting–you can’t look at occasional indulgences as “falling off the wagon.” If there are foods that you love that you aren’t willing to live without, then don’t try cutting them out, because you will never stick to a plan like that. What works is the plan you can follow long-term, so if that needs to include planned indulgences, so be it. (with the obvious caveat that the plan also has to involve, overall, healthier food and fewer calories than what got us here in the first place)
While I have some time-bound weight-loss goals I’d like to achieve, I’m not married to them–I’m working hard to view this as a lifestyle change, not a temporary health-and-fitness blitz. If I make true lifestyle changes and stick to them, the weight will eventually come off, and I’ll build healthy habits that will keep me fit for a long time to come. THAT is my real goal, and it’s one that I have to work at every day, one day at a time.
March 25th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
I see both sides of the issue as well, but it’s disheartening that so many adults act infantile about giving into food cravings. As rhaazz originally said, these things just don’t have any place in a food plan geared toward weight loss. You’re either eating to get fitter, or you’re not. You can’t let yourself indulge repeatedly and then in the same paragraph bemoan your lack of substantial progress. That’s the very definition of insanity and self-sabotage. The act of consuming a milkshake moves you further from your goal; there’s no two ways about it. The whole “moderation” thing — as well as the whole underlying assumption that women are all a bunch of weaklings who must capitulate to every passing urge that hits us — is overrated, IMHO.
March 25th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Don’t get me wrong, I KNOW why I’m stuck. I was eating too much of what I loved, which I understand is not conducive to weightloss, which is why I’m setting the ground rules to begin with.
I agree that milkshakes and weightloss don’t go hand in hand, but right or wrong, some foods make me happy, and if I can incorporate them into a healthy eating plan that I can keep up for the long term, I really don’t see anything wrong with that at all.
March 25th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
Jamie, have you tried Weight Watchers? I am loving the program now that I’m going to meetings (which holds me accountable). I did it online for a year and just yo-yo’ed around, but now that I’m going to the meetings, which means weighing in each week, I’m really getting how great the program is. They’ve worked in extra points each week, which is for the splurge meal or item. It’s great because you get to splurge, but within a program that makes sure your splurge isn’t too much of a splurge or too often.
March 25th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
I’ll toss in my two cents about food and treats; about 2 years ago (after getting a devastating high cholesterol reading) I went cold turkey and cut all the fatty or simple-carb foods from my diet: no fried foods, no milk products other than nonfat, no white-flour breads, no meat other than chicken and whitefish… I stuck with that diet for 6 months religiously, and not only did I get my cholesterol down, but I lost 10 lbs and 5% body fat.
However after that, I decided to start “allowing myself a treat once a week” and that was DOOM! Once I started with scones at the coffeeshop, or the occasional ice cream cone… it was like the flood gates had burst. An occasional treat turned into a daily treat, and when I tried to limit the treat to once a week, I found I craved the treats all the time.
Compare that to my “cold turkey” dieting, when I focused on the fruits and veggies and salads and stir fry. I never craved anything then. When I wanted a treat I’d eat an apple or an orange. I kept whole foods on hand and ate them instead of the bad treats. Dessert was fresh strawberries and nonfat plain yogurt with cinnamon… fantastic!!
So I’m just saying, you might be making it even harder for yourself by continuing to dip into the treats. If you focus on what you CAN have rather than on what you CAN’T, and just walk away from those fatty treats, it might be easier in the long run to stick to a good diet and reach your goals without the setbacks.
March 26th, 2009 at 10:21 am
Here’s the secret: if you burn more calories than you eat, you will lose weight. You will. You are not special or different or suffering from a broken metabolism. So you can eat any food you want. You can. BUT. If you are really serious and you really want to lose weight you must, must, must, keep accurate records of what you eat. This means you weigh and measure everything.
If you do this, you will not fail. Here are some tips:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVjWPclrWVY
Also, it is very important to not get into that trap of “I had a milkshake, screw it, today is shot, I’ll just eat what I want.” Nope. If you are serious you will understand that there are no value judgments, just what goes in vs. what you burn. Period. If you are ready to succeed, this is what you do. You don’t make excuses or give up. You wiegh and measure everything, you do your exercise, and you meet your goals. And if you’re not ready to track accurately, just give yourself a break, stop doing what doesn’t work, and do it when you are ready.
June 10th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Stick with it, ramp up your exercise routine, try something new like a spinning class.