Baby Weighting
By Jennifer
Let’s just get the uncomfortable part over with, shall we? You know, the numbers. I’m not sure why I get so hung up on people knowing these numbers; it’s not as if telling you I weigh 120 pounds makes my thighs shrink. I mean, you have eyes, right? YOU CAN SEE THAT I DON’T WEIGH 120 POUNDS. So, let’s rip off the Band-aid: I weighed 200 pounds the day I gave birth. That is quite a lot of pounds, isn’t it? That day (my son’s birthday) was eight weeks ago and this morning when I stepped on the scale it read 178. That’s … still quite a lot of pounds. My goal is to get down to around 130 pounds. That was my weight three short years ago.
(You want to see pictures, don’t you?)
From three years ago, summer 2006
From last week, March 2009
I wish I could blame all the gained weight on my adorable and munchable eight-week-old baby boy, but it’s more the fault of all that dessert I allowed myself to inhale while pregnant with him and also WHILE ANTICIPATING BEING PREGNANT WITH HIM. That’s right, I gained about thirty pounds during the year my husband and I tried to get pregnant. (Note: if you’re ever going to gain weight, don’t gain it while trying to get pregnant because many, MANY people will assume your waist is expanding because of life gestating inside you and not because you ate an entire pizza by yourself after your husband went to bed. Correcting those people will be a bit awkward. TRUST ME.)
I was bulimic for six years, and even at 110 pounds, I didn’t think I was thin enough. (If I could go back in time, I’d slap my 17-year-old self for hating her ridiculously great ass. I’d also slap her for over-plucking her eyebrows but that’s for another post.) They say money is wasted on the rich. I say thinness is wasted on the skinny. It was absolutely wasted on me, at least. So, it’s not just weight loss and fitting into my three-year-old jeans that I’m striving for with this goal, it’s accepting and embracing my body at every point along the way. I hate loving my weight in hindsight and never loving it in the moment. (How often do you look at pictures of yourself and think Hmm, I don’t look half bad, but I sure remember feeling like a bison.)
I have one other motivation for this weight loss, and that’s the little (again, munchable) boy in the picture above. Not only so I can offer him a healthier, happier mother, but also so I can participate in his childhood. So I can be a documented part of his childhood. I’m scared Kyle will look back on his first year and wonder, why wasn’t my mother in more than three pictures? Where was she?
I’m here. I’m right here. I don’t want him to ever doubt that.
April 6th, 2009 at 11:26 am
Best of luck on your journey! I keep tabs on your blog so I’ll probably be checking in here too.
April 6th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Thanks, K!
April 6th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
Nice to see you here! You are already doing so well. I topped out at 192 when pregnant with Avelyn, so we are pretty much weight samers. You can do it! And so can I? I have been STALLED!! Indefinitely!
April 6th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
[...] Ginseng Blog put an intriguing blog post on Baby WeightingHere’s a quick excerpt…more the fault of all that dessert I allowed myself to inhale while pregnant with him and also WHILE ANTICIPATING BEING PREGNANT WITH HIM. [...]
April 6th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Jennie – I’m excited to read about your journey here. I know you’ll do great and hopefully I can get my ass in gear and lose some of my extra lbs along with you. Here’s to 130!
April 6th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
I’m so excited to read about your journey. I’m currently trying to start working out again making exercise the daily habit that it used to be. Perhaps after that I’ll work on the food side of it. Baby steps!
What are you holding in that first picture? Your husband looks like he’s holding a lobster, but you look like you’re holding a rolex?
April 6th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
Welcome! I love reading your blog, and I’m glad to see you’re over here now as well.
April 6th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
Your braveness astonishes me. I think I would rather be run over by a truck then post my weight on the internet.
I will say this, our stats our similar. I’ve never gotten back down to my non eating disorder thinnest. But I’ve gotten close. And I’ve gotten happy with it, which is close enough.
April 6th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Welcome! I look forward to reading about your journey.
And for what it’s worth, 200 is a lot of pounds for some people and a goal for others. It’s all relative.
Congrats on your new baby!
April 6th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
AndreAnna: You’re completely right. I should have said it’s a lot of pounds for someone who weighed 70 pounds less just three years ago.
April 6th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
Thanks for sharing your journey so honestly. I think you’ll be motivating to readers no matter what their weight.
April 6th, 2009 at 6:42 pm
I know the feeling. I can’t believe what my body has been through having two babies in two years. If I add it up, I’ve lost and gained 400 pounds in four years. Down 120 before my wedding. Up 80 with my daughter. Down 80 after her. Up 80 with my son. Now back down 60, with 30 more to go. It’s insane if you really think about it.
I know you’ll get that 48 pounds off! You’re in good company, that’s for sure.
April 6th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
Your arms in the after photo are a very nice shape and so is your butt. You’re probably one of those lucky gals who sees the weight come off pretty evenly as you go along. Before you know it you’ll be back where you want to be. I’m rooting for you.
April 6th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
Hahaha… thinness IS waisted on the thin. Too true! I wish I could go back in time and wear a bikini when I was 21. I have never worn one in public! My problem wasn’t my body, I was okay with it (as well I should have been, at 5’6 and 115 pounds), I just had never heard of a BIKINI WAX. UH HUH. And my german-russian-ukrainian ancestry catches up with me, in the… bikini region. Hey, it could be worse, I could have a unibrow. Instead I just have pubes that grow from knee to knobbly knee!
Anyways. Good luck on your weight loss journey, I know you can do it!! Woooot!
April 7th, 2009 at 5:17 am
I’ll be watching your progress, and hoping to get some tips and motivation! I’m in the same boat – I’ve lost the 40 pounds I gained with my son (now 9 months old), but not the 30 pounds I gained before him! I share your frustration at not ever being in any pictures, the last pictures I’m really in are from my wedding 5 years ago, before baby #1 3 years ago. I’d like to be able to keep up with them too, and as they get bigger (and heavier!), it’s getting harder and harder. It’s so hard to find time to work out with 2 little ones and a full-time job. Hopefully we can get some motivation here! Good luck!
April 7th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
You can do it! I have a huge amount to lose as well. My goal is 150! I have no baby just a fierce love of food and lack of love of exercise. I am getting better and down 15 lbs so far. Need alot more to go.
Oh what I would give to go back and slap that 17 year old self and have her realize the kick ass body she had!
April 9th, 2009 at 11:42 am
I can so completely relate to your experience. My son is 14 weeks old and I am having such a difficult time stepping away from the ice cream. I had no idea how bad of a habit my unhealthy eating and lack of exercise had become while I was pregnant. I’m struggling to find balance again and to get back to my pre-trying (yes, I too gained weight during the year my husband and I were ttc) weight. I look forward to reading about your journey and wish you the best of luck!