Looking back, running forward
By Jennifer
When I was pregnant, I became so sick, I only made it to my delivery date with a sound mind because of a very expensive prescription of Zofran (an anti-nausea medication). For months, there wasn’t a meal I enjoyed. Constant queasiness and then constant reflux made eating (and sleeping and standing and breathing) miserable. So, throughout my pregnancy when I would feel good — not on the verge of throwing up for one reason or another — I would treat myself to dessert, something I rarely indulged in before or since my pregnancy without just a little bit of guilt served alongside it. Even though people said ridiculous things to me about my size and weight throughout my pregnancy, I never felt guilty about what I ate (and I only gained 36 total pounds, so I wasn’t worrying my doctor). I was working hard for that chocolate croissant or slice of cake. I was growing a person and also surviving awful physical side effects of that process. I savored every bite of cookie or brownie I allowed myself because I could vividly remember what throwing up water was like (hint: not fun), and whenever I felt somewhat normal, I relished in that feeling and enjoyed food.
It was actually a refreshing state to be in, but the reality is I simply can’t continue with that kind of diet. I can’t eat like I’m pregnant and expect to reach my goal weight or wear 99% of the clothes I own. And, wearing maternity clothes for (three) months after you leave the maternity category is about as sexy as you imagine it would be.
But, the sweet cravings didn’t subside the day I gave birth, and so, yes, there are some days I still feel like something calorie-packed even though I rationally know that at this point, I’m no longer growing a person, I’m simply growing a gut.
I would love to be zen about this and accept my body completely as it is, for both its resilience (it lasted through quite a few tequila shots in college) and its strength (hey, it did give birth), and I do acknowledge and appreciate all it’s done for me, but I’m just not happy with my size. I am a happy person, but I don’t love the reflection I see in the mirror. I don’t love putting on a baggy shirt to hide a baggy stomach. I smile when I think of my life and all I’ve achieved and been granted, and I simply want my weight to reflect that good. There are plenty of heavier men and women who have found happiness not despite their weight but because of it, and I commend them. I don’t think we can categorize fat = unhappy and skinny = happy — it’s simply not that black and white — but every individual journey is different and every goal weight is a slightly different number for slightly different reasons. I’m only an expert on my own journey, but as someone who spent six years of her life skinny and impossibly miserable thanks to bulimia, I know that happiness is not the number on the scale. I’d like to lose weight not because my happiness depends on it but because it’s the only somewhat gray area of an otherwise bright life.
I’m glad I was able to give myself some guilt-free indulgences while pregnant, but I’m an adult. I can’t just eat whatever I want, whenever I want and expect to look as I want. Some good things require sacrifice and hard work. Weight-loss and weight management are such things for me. And along the way, hopefully, I’ll find that eating fresher foods makes me feel even better than those sweet treats I ate while pregnant and working out makes me feel even prouder of what my body is capable of. I want to improve myself because I’m not OK staying still and stagnant. I think part of the joy of living is challenging yourself to achieve new things and reach new goals.
I have a beautiful, healthy baby boy, and I want him to have a beautiful, healthy mom. Not to say I’m ugly and unhealthy now, but there’s always room for improvement. I’m ready to take that next step after a year of not having to push myself to get and stay healthy and fit. So, this is my journey, and I appreciate your support and encouragement as I make (good, positive, feels-right) changes in my life.
One such change is this: I’d like to finally tick “run a marathon” off my life to-do list. I added this item back in college, but I let the goal gather dust as it seemed so impossible to attain. But, well, I’ve given birth. I’ve survived the first hellish and exhausting six weeks of my son’s life. I know I can run a marathon if I work toward it as, COME ON, nothing can be as hard as what I’ve faced and hurdled the last year. So, I’m going to start working toward it. And, the first step is something you can help me with. What running shoes do you love?
I fully intend to get fitted and debriefed (face-to-face) by a running-shoe expert, but I love talking shoes, even shoes that will undoubtedly bring me some pain. So, what do you recommend and, hey, if you’ve tackled the feat of finishing a marathon and came out the other side (in one piece), what are some tips you’d offer as I start training?
May 13th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
I am NOT a runner, but my husband is. He trained for and ran his first marathon while I was pregnant with The Boy wearing Brooks shoes. He’s had three pairs since then, running 5Ks. He loves them, though, as you say, everyone’s foot is different and your best bet is getting fitted.
May 13th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
It’ll be nice to arm myself with a little shoe knowledge before going in, so thank you Hillary!
May 13th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
I can talk for hours about running so feel free to get in touch
DEFINITELY get fitted by an expert. What works for me won’t necessarily work for you! (I’m using Nike Elite 4 right now, but I was an Asics girl for years.)
Next step — find yourself a running group. I’m sure there are running clubs in your area, and most of them have beginner programs. (Ours just started a few weeks ago)
The beginner class take you from nothing to a 5K. Our club also has 10K, 1/2 marathon, marathon and even ultra marathon training programs. It’s so much easier to train when you’re not alone.
Not impossible, though. Your schedule is probably a bit limited, so you may have to squeeze runs in when you can, not necessarily when a group meets. There are plenty of programs online that will get you started. Take your time — too much too fast will just discourage you.
And stay positive. You can absolutely run a marathon!
May 13th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
I am no help whatsoever but I’ve got an itch to see if I can run a marathon too. Perhaps we can do it together!
May 13th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Hi Jennifer – I can second the Brooks shoes – I LOVE mine. I have the Ghost: http://www.brooksrunning.com/prod.php?p=1200411B and they rock. These are for a neutral foot – not that I truly get what all those terms mean, but they are super comfy and my legs don’t get strained from the miles. My husband has run two marathons, both in Brooks shoes – they are his go-to brand no matter what.
I can feel you on the post baby body – my baby turned one last week and I’m scheduled to run my first half-marathon in just a few short weeks. Scared to death! However, I started working out at that 6 week mark and slowly but surely, here I am almost one year later about to run 13 miles. I was never a runner, and this is the longest I’ve run in my entire life.
Good luck!!
May 13th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Hey, thanks, merrymishaps. I’m going to bookmark your encouragement when I start to doubt myself. I’ll probably be starting slower than your average slug, but as long as I get there eventually. I like the idea of a running group, too, so I’m off to peruse what my area offers.
Also, Stacy, way to go with your half-marathon! Let’s hope I have similar exciting news to share when my kid is a year old.
May 13th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
I’m so excited for you! Even though my boy has yet to be delivered (ANY DAY THOUGH), I have already set my sights on a running goal to drop the pounds as well. In January there is the Carlsbad Half Marathon… and I plan on running in it (with my husband who is also recovering from knee surgery). I have a bum knee, so I figured a full marathon would be just a bit too long for me… at least at first.
Oh and you may already have a running schedule in place… but just in case you don’t… check out this guy’s website for a BUNCH of training schedules: http://www.halhigdon.com/
They start off with 5k training and go all the way up to marathon!
No running group necessary! And its perfect for you (and soon to be me) because you can do it when ever you want!
OH and look into pod casts on itunes too. They have a bunch of running schedules on there.
I’ve never used one, but I know people who do.
Good luck!!! I can’t wait to join you in this journey!
May 13th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
OH, and I forgot to mention the name of the podcasts… I’ve heard “couch to 5k” is the best when first starting out. I’m not sure where you’re starting from, but I have ZERO stamina… so once I can do the couch to 5k podcast (its free), i will then move onto something more strenuous.
May 13th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
I second the Hal Higddon training – I’m using the “Novice 1/2 Marathon” training and it’s worked out well so far.
May 13th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
Get fitted by an expert and use orthotics if they recommend them. You should choose a store staffed by runners who actually watch you run back & forth in the store. You’ll feel like a dork, but it’s the only way.
May 14th, 2009 at 6:11 am
I am going to second Robert Ullrey’s Couch to 5K program (http://www.ullreys.com/robert/Podcasts/). My husband is a runner and running is something I’ve always wanted to do, but have never found the motivation. The Couch to 5K podcasts are great. They make it all seem so much more managable for me. The podcasts tell you when to run and when to walk and who doesn’t like a running program that tells you to take a break every other day? I am on week 3 and so far, so good. I enjoy reading about your journey–good luck!
May 14th, 2009 at 7:27 am
Good luck with your training. I’m a runner but I’ve never done a marathon. I’m considering a half marathon at some point though. I’m just not into the super long training runs for marathons. My longest run to date has been 11 miles.
As for shoes, I’ve never had a professional determine shoes for me but it sounds like a really good place to start. I learned in high school that I have a low arch and therefore can’t wear certain shoes. I tend to stay away from Nike and lean more towards New Balance and Adidas shoes.
May 14th, 2009 at 8:51 am
I just started running with the help of Robert Ullrey’s Couch to 5K podcasts AND the pretty iPod Nano and Nike Plus my dear boyfriend just bought me.
May 14th, 2009 at 8:54 am
And, that comment was not complete – anyway – I love the couch to 5k paired with the Nike Plus because you can see how your pace changes as you progress. Also, it tells you at the end how many calories you’ve burned – which is a huge motivator for me.
May 14th, 2009 at 9:45 am
I’m a Saucony girl through and through. I think I’ve tried just about every running shoe out there (8 years of competitive racing will do that), and I’ve found that they fit my feet the best and really last through a lot of mileage.
However, I would say the first, most important step is to figure out if you overpronate, underpronate or have a normal instep. That will help you find a shoe that works for your feet and arch.
May 14th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
Jennifer — I trained for and ran my first marathon in the year after giving birth to my second daughter. I SWEAR it was the only thing that kept me sane.
I can’t stress enough that you need to get fitted by someone who knows what they’re doing. I love my Saucony Triumphs, but that’s because they’re the first running shoe I’ve ever had where my pinky toes didn’t feel like they were going to die after a 12-mile run.
May 14th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Thanks, everyone. You sure know how to encourage a girl.
But, rest assured, I will get fitted by an expert. You’re all very worried I won’t do that. It’s as if you know I ordered some New Balances online in college without trying them on first. Seriously, though, I will not purchase running shoes until someone very knowledgeable has made me run around their store first. (Pinky promise!)
May 15th, 2009 at 12:36 am
I’m going to go ahead and suggest New Balance. I am a pretty avid runner/gym goer and i Love my New Balance… a great investment! I feel you know a good shoe when they don’t spend all their money on marketing and instead spend it on creating a good product!
Good luck!
May 15th, 2009 at 7:04 am
I love my Mizuno’s. I tried on 5-6 pairs when I got fitted and they felt wonderful on my feet and are the lightest I’d ever felt (as an extremely inexperience runner at the time). They’ve held up pretty well too, though I’m not hardcore about my running.
May 15th, 2009 at 10:48 am
I am about halfway through the training for my first half-marathon. My suggestions are this: look into a Jeff Galloway program – his emphasis is on preventing injury. For me, this (and the 17 week training timeline) was KEY- I’m able to move at a pace with which I’m comfortable, and I know I am giving some old dancing injuries the care they need.
Also, Brooks running shorts are PHENOMENAL. If you’re not a shorts gal, I also highly recommend the Nike Running Tight/Capri, and the Quicker Knicker (www.sahalie.com). New Balance makes an excellent assortment of wicking tanks and tees, not to mention their amazing shoes! I’m mixed on the Nike+ stuff – I have it on my Ipod and I use it, but if you don’t properly calibrate it to your gait at first, your stats will be off. Overall, it’s worth it – and don’t buy the armband. It’s completely annoying – and when you get really sweaty, it will invade the iPod area and fog up the clear cover.
Can’t wait to hear how everything goes! Best of luck!
May 15th, 2009 at 10:54 am
Whoops – the quicker knicker is at Title Nine – http://www.titlenine.com.
May 16th, 2009 at 6:40 am
I ran my very first marathon a few years ago – the New York City marathon – and have a few tips for you.
1 – I used the FIRST training plan, which you cna find on RunnersWorld.com I loved this plan as I’m pretty prone to injury and this particular plan only requires you to run 3 days a week. Saves a lot of stress and strain on your knees! Don’t let the three day a week deal fool you though, you still have to train. And train hard.
2 – That said, my biggest piece of advice is to take training seriously. 26.2 miles is not a distance you can fake your way through, the way you can with a 5K or even a 10K. Make sure you complete every long run on your training plan. These are crucial, and you will be so thankful you did them on race day.
3 – Once you’re actually running the race, take the first half slow. Even if you feel amazing. I felt so great on marathon day, so buoyed by adrenaline and the literally millions of people lining the streets of New York City that I went out too fast for the first half of the race. Boy did I pay for that by miles 17-26!!
As for shoes, I like Nikes because they’re equipped for Nike+ and I think that is the greatest running invention EVER. A HUGE motivator. Best of luck!!
May 20th, 2009 at 6:35 pm
I had always had “run a marathon” on my life to-do list but secretly doubted I could do it. Then I began having my hair cut by a stylist who had three children plus worked full time and was training for her third marathon on top of that. This woman was not “a runner” by nature, nor did she “look the part,” whatever that means. She was about 15 years older than me, ran slow, and she said she took forever, but she was determined to do it to lose all the weight she’d gained with her pregnancies.
After meeting her, I knew I had no excuse not to try . . . so I got my husband on board, and we ran Chicago in 2003. We. Loved. It. The training, the race itself, everything. So find a great running group and find a mentor, someone who you can look at and think: If she can do it, then I can do it, too. Good luck! It will be an amazing accomplishment!