Boyfriend in Motivation
in Uncategorized
Oh, hi! I am sheepishly coming out from under my rock here, semi-ashamed that I’ve been so atrociously remiss in writing in this space.
On the upside: I am rocketing out of my crater in a bikini, a white one, and I am glad to assure you that my excuse for not writing is that my free time has been consumed by love, work, and a newfound passion for working out.
I’ll start at the beginning.
***
“You can’t go out with a dude who has a stomach like that,” my friend Tracey whispered, as we both gaped at Facebook and a profile picture of my would-be date,”He very obviously spends all his free time in a gym and I’ve dated gym monkeys. When they’re that obsessed with their own fitness, they have no time for you, for anything but pumping iron.”
I stared at the screen, inhaled sharply and decided to go out with him anyway.
***
I’ve been with the man with the bulging biceps and sculpted 6 pack for three months now, and I know some of what my friend warned me is true: Corey does spend much of his free time in the gym. And the running trails and the steep inclines of mountains. But I don’t begrudge him this: I admire it, and covet his willpower.
He has taught me that humans in excellent physical condition work hard for it: they are conscious of what they consume, they focus intensely on cardio and weight and vitamins and protein carb balance. And he’s also taught me that this focus on fitness, on being in the best shape you can possibly be, is a gift that we can take or leave. I spent several weeks drooling over his perfectly oiled machine of a body and then I decided: I can do this too. I will have several decades when I am 70 and 80, Universe Willing, when my body can be free to droop and fade and recede into its own folds. For now I am young and strong and capable: I have the choice to be strong, firm, and proud of my body.
***
I started running in earnest several months ago, now I can’t go a day without going for a run. I do between 5 and 10K every day except for Sunday. Recently I’ve added the gym into the mix, and I’m aiming to do weights 3 times a week along with my runs. I want a 4 pack by the end of fall, I’d like to coax my butt out of its pancake position by Christmas.
My boyfriend has helped me to be aware of what I eat: no more cheese and crackers for lunch: my home is now stocked with fresh fruit and vegetables, and I’ve dramatically cut down on bread. I look forward to sweating and working and feeling good about what we eat. I am amazed at the freedom of not feeling the intense need to hide my fatskinny body between the sheets in the dark, before I’m seen.
Between the new, healthy diet and my running, I’ve lost 6 pounds and 2 dress sizes, and I can say, for the first time in my life, I can wear a bikini with unabashed abandon.
The omg-I-hate-doing-this curve? It goes away, this I promise. The feeling of taking control of your body, of doing this yourself, is worth every tear of sweat, every missed chocolate bar, every undignified Jillian-Michaels induced grunt.
I’m here to tell you: you can do this. Go, girl.
August 6th, 2009 at 4:43 am
Wow! You look great. Congrats on your motivation to working out and on finding a guy that encourages that motivation and helps you become a better version of yourself.
August 6th, 2009 at 5:12 am
You do look awesome! I’ll never be able to unabashedly wear a bikini and I’m okay with that. Feeling good in your skin is what’s important and I’m so happy for you that you’ve gotten there!
Congrats on the hard work and the healthy life – go girl is right!!
August 6th, 2009 at 5:16 am
Awesome…what a great accomplishment so far! You are inspiring…thanks for posting this…and thanks to Corey too…for helping you (and us, indirectly with this post) along the way.
August 6th, 2009 at 5:25 am
Way to go Kristin! Not only do you look great but you’re doing it in the most healthy way possible – healthy diet and moderate exercise. Love it! Thanks for the inspiration and motivation.
August 6th, 2009 at 6:13 am
Girl, you are BRAVE for posting another picture after the verbal beat-down you got last time! You look amazing.
…Any shots of Mr. 6-pack? Not for ME, for…for motivation!
August 6th, 2009 at 6:37 am
Ugh, I was out running yesterday, working myself up to a 5K (I normally do aerobics and weights but I want to be able to run) and when my legs hurt and my chest was burning, and I wanted to stop — I thought of you out there running somewhere and I kept going. So thanks for the motivation to keep me going!
August 6th, 2009 at 7:10 am
Such an inspiring, fantastic post. Thank you.
(You look unbelievable!)
August 6th, 2009 at 7:29 am
Awesome post. This is my motivation for continuing on my Couch to 5K running schedule. I can droop when I am 70. Thank you!
August 6th, 2009 at 8:36 am
You KNOW I’m hoping for a guest post from Mr. Beefy, right? For the MOTIVATION and INFORMATION and INSPIRATION and stuff. Also: the naked torso.
And damn, go on with your bad self, bikini hotness.
August 6th, 2009 at 9:34 am
I love the idea of “drooping when I’m 70″, can I steal that and use it as my personal motivation, too?
I’ve been dreaming about a leaner, more musclely (so not a word) version of myself. I have a goal for my thirties – I want to be an amateur yogi by the time I hit 40.
Anyway, last night I was going through 60 minutes of power vinyasa yoga (which is by far the most difficult yoga I’ve tried) and I was exhausted. I kept finding myself in child’s pose, but every time I had to take a break, I thought “I am awesome because I am DOING THIS.”
Thanks for the reassurance that the omg-I-hate-doing-this feeling WILL go away. I’m going to hold onto that as I go through more “holy crap, baron baptiste is trying to kill me” practices.
August 6th, 2009 at 11:21 am
I’m a FatSkinny too and am so inspired by you! CONGRATULATIONS! I’m a new Shredhead and am doing the buddy workout all of August. I took before and after photos and I measured too. I don’t care about the pounds, I just want to firm up and be healthy.
CONGRATS again and you look amazing!!!
August 6th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
You look awesome! I have an 11 month old and I don’t think I have the option right now to commit to your level of exercise but I want to someday. Although, I don’t think I can ever give up bars of chocolate.
August 6th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
I definitely needed to read this post today because lately I’ve been discouraged and self-hating and sabotaging myself (i.e. talking myself into bad food and out of exercise).
Thanks for that shot in the arm, K.
August 6th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
This is awesome! And so true. Thanks so much for the motivation, I needed it. And you look FABULOUS in your bikini … you are absolutely rockin’ it!
August 6th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
You look awesome! Congrats on finding your groove! You look amazing in the bikini!
I would love to hear more about what you are eating that is working for you.
August 6th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
Go K! I love it! You are an inspiration!
August 7th, 2009 at 7:35 am
“…humans in excellent physical condition work hard for it.” I am going to be repeating this to myself as I run tonight and want nothing more than to just throw in the towel. Your journey has been so inspiring! Thanks so much for sharing. Oh, and you look amazing!!
August 7th, 2009 at 8:32 am
Amen sister! This post personified my entire philosophy on health and fitness completely! Keep up the good work- you look amazing!
August 7th, 2009 at 9:22 am
Kristin, I can’t tell you how much your post has motivated me. I just discovered this site through your other blog, and reading your past entries and this one, it’s as if a lightbulb has been switched on inside of me. I am thin, always have been, but have let busyness and lazyness gradually build a solid layer of fat and jiggle over my tummy, my butt and my thighs. Okay, some on the arms, too.
I used to be a track athlete (high school, but I took it very seriously) and ran a marathon in college, but I have let running slip out of my life as it it’s a guy I used to date. Reading about what you are doing (and your great results) has motivated me to start running again, which I did this morning for the first time in several years. It honestly felt kind of terrible, but I pushed through, thinking of your words above, reminding myself that the “I hate doing this” does goes away (because I know, from experience, it does — it just sucks to be on this side of it at the moment). Anyway, sorry for the novel, but thank you.
August 9th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
Kristen-
I too follow your other blog and I am one of those “I can’t run” people…I say it and its true..lol…but I think I am just not motivated enough…although reading you is a good start to get me going.
I was wondering if you would share your playlist? Assuming you run with an iPod?!?!?
August 9th, 2009 at 6:06 pm
Yeah, Kristin! I love this post, and the motivation, and the goodbye to fatskinny. It’s all good.
August 12th, 2009 at 6:12 pm
I’m at an impasse, a lull, call it what you will. Tomorrow it starts again. You’re awesome – thanks for the motivation. I’ll be back and back and back again.
And as a fellow pancake-butt person, I’m paying attention to what you’re doing there in particular. I’ve imagined it as the great unchangeable, but maybe not?
August 12th, 2009 at 8:01 pm
I’m curious how fast you run if you’re willing to share. I’m impressed with the frequency that you run and would like to get my own running more frequent but I find I dread it if I do too much of it.
Really enjoy your posts…so glad you’ve recommitted yourself!
August 17th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Thanks so much you guys – sorry for the belated response, was on vacay!
Laurie: I can’t tell you for sure about the pancake butt. Mine is still pretty flat, though I’ve just recently added a lot of lunges and squats into my daily routine. I’ll keep you posted if you want.
Lindsay: I run anywhere from 1 4.40 to a 5.10 kilometer (sorry, am Canadian and do everything in kms rather than miles) Unless I do hills, and then it’s slooow.
Oh and Kelly – my playlist right now (which I’m loving, but I do have kind of eclectic taste):
The Heinrich Maneuver – Interpol
Body of Years – Mother Mother
Supermassive Black Hole – Muse
Love and Memories – OAR
Stripped – Shiny Toy Guns
Jezebel – Two Hours Traffic
Red Heart – Hey! Rosetta
Foundations – Kate Nash
Kids – MGMT
Poison – Alice Cooper (whatever works! whatever!)
Believe – The Bravery
I reserve the right to throw the occasional sexyback in there and deny it.
August 17th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
(That was me, Kristin, not anonymous, above. Sorry!
September 23rd, 2009 at 3:07 pm
It’s funny, this post made me realize how sexist I am. When I read about a guy who’s got sculpted abs, I think, “He must be gay, because straight guys aren’t that into their appearance.” If I learn he’s straight, I think, “Well, he must be kind of a loser in other areas of his life. Anyone who’s so narcissistic that they would that much time to their appearance obviously doesn’t have anything going on in his career or much of an education.”
I would actually be repelled physically not attracted to a guy with a six pack. (I used to work out with a personal trainer who would flirt with me in a friendly way, and I just felt no attraction at all– because he was so muscular and lean.)
But here’s the thing: I think this ONLY ABOUT STRAIGHT MEN who are sculpting their abs and/or other parts of their bodies. I do NOT have negative thoughts about straight women who work hard on their bodies, because I understand the pressure we women are under to have lean, slender bodies.
Straight men, who don’t live with that pressure, have no reason to get scultped bodies except vanity. And while I have a very high tolerance for vanity in myself and other women (I know that for us it’s mostly a version of fear) I have zero tolerance for vanity in men.
Isn’t that odd? I didn’t realize I was so sexist.
I wish I could let go of this messed- up gender-role thinking. It does me no good whatsoever. The whole “diet and exercise, beauty and fitness” industry has done me ZERO favors in my life. It’s just made me insecure, judgmental, narrowminded, and persistently hungry.