Fresh start, day 9
By Linda
A week into the renewed eating focus and I can really feel a difference. I didn’t step on the scale at the start of last week, but in the last few days I’ve lost a couple pounds. (Not that I’m overly concerned about what the scale says, but it’s always nice to see a numerical impact.) I feel less clouded and mopey, and not at all like I’m treating food like a damn drug, which is exactly what was happening before.
I was sliding back into the habit of doing so many negative things with my eating. Eating mindlessly, eating way past the point where I was satiated, using food as a reward (this coincided nicely with my toddler entering a sleep regression, so every single night there was a wonderful excuse for eating an entire pint of ice cream), using food as a source of quick energy (then crashing, because that’s the problem with chocolate-coated quick energy), eating because I was feeling crappy because I was eating crappy food, ETC.
People have told me I should just give myself a break, that I’ve been working out and it should be okay for me to rock the Doritos for a while or whatever, and I feel nearly maddened by the desire to make them understand: no, it was not okay. Everyone should have flexibility to indulge, and everyone’s got a different point when they realize things are getting out of control. I reached that point, and frankly, it’s a little demeaning to be back-patted and chided that I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. It’s HARD WORK to switch gears and start re-kicking personal bad habits to the curb and dealing with all the fallout of taking away the crunchy nacho-flavored coping devices, and I would kindly like to offer the double eagle salute to anyone who tells me I’m being silly or pointless. You feel me?
Also not pointless? Not wanting to buy an entire new wardrobe in a larger size. I was starting to have to leave certain things in the closet because they weren’t fitting right, and believe me, I don’t have a large enough clothing assortment for some items to be off limits. I already feel better in some of these clothes, and while my jeans still feel like they went through the wash on hot (hint: they didn’t), at least I can button them again. Progress.
Anyway, on to today’s food diary:
Breakfast:
- Bowl of 1/2 Cinnamon Life, 1/2 All Bran cereal with a few almonds and 2% milk
- 1 Morningstar veggie patty
Lunch:
- Office salad bar salad with pine nuts, bacon bits, feta cheese, cucumbers, artichoke hearts
- 1 Honeycrisp apple
Snack:
- Plain yogurt with sliced strawberries and Splenda
- Beef jerky
Dinner:
- Small bowl of ground beef, refried beans, pinto beans, sour cream, salsa
- 1 orange
Snack:
- Sugar free Jello with yogurt
Exercise: level 2 of 30 Day Shred, crunches in front of the TV
October 14th, 2009 at 5:04 am
I’m green with envy over your office salad bar.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:52 am
I definately notice the difference when I’m not as strict with my eating. I was so bad for a few months that I gained 10 lbs, and I wasn’t even at the weight I wanted to be at. So frustrating, but I’ve already lost 5 of them in the 3 weeks I’ve been eating healthy and working out. I love reading your food diary, because I know I’m not alone in this.
October 14th, 2009 at 6:48 am
I think you should keep these posts up – I love them!
And I agree with you 100% on telling everyone to suck it, so to speak. Why are people so easy to urge others into complacency when it’s clearly not the best advice?
October 14th, 2009 at 7:11 am
I completely understand not wanting to buy an entire new wardrobe. I like my current clothes, not to mention I can’t afford a new wardrobe. I totally get where you’re coming from!
October 14th, 2009 at 7:13 am
Agree agree agree with all of this.
Me:
Breakfast – 1 cup Kashi Autumn Wheat cereal, unsweetened soy milk, 1 apple, 1 pear
Snack – chocolate coconut chew Larabar
Lunch – salad – romaine lettuce, feta cheese, artichoke hearts, chopped tomatoes, kalamata olives, chick peas, craisins, red wine vinegar
Dinner – broccoli, string beans, artichoke hearts, Barilla penne plus, few cubes of soy cheese
Snack – one small piece Green & Black chocolate
Exercise: 90 minutes Bikram Yoga
October 14th, 2009 at 8:05 am
Misery loves company, no doubt. Keep up the good work
October 14th, 2009 at 9:22 am
I think for just about anyone the myth that you can eat what you want if you exercise enough is so tempting we can’t get away from it. But you know what? For 90% of the population it’s just not true. I know that personally what I eat counts WAY, WAY more in losing weight and staying fit then working out does. Case in point: when I was training for the breast cancer 3 day and walking 7 miles a day and 15-18 miles on the weekends I lost ZERO weight in 4 months. As soon as the even was over, I went on WW and dropped my workouts down to walking 3-5 miles 3-4x a week and lost 40 lbs in 6 months. The quality of the input way overshadowed the quantity of the output.
You know what works for you, and you are doing it. Like I said on your personal site – knowing when to switch gears BEFORE sliding off the rails is the the whole point of staying healthy.
October 14th, 2009 at 11:25 am
I’d like to congratulate you on understanding the merits of the honeycrisp. I firmly believe that anyone on the fence about apples could have their mind changed by the honeycrisp.
October 14th, 2009 at 11:54 am
Congrats on your fresh start!
You said it… it can become a total drug. For me, my drug of choice was food, right down to 4 weeks of hardcore withdrawl symptoms when I finally decided I had to ‘sober up’ and take control. Sweats, shakes, heart palpitations, crying, feelings of impending doom, pacing… the whole 9 yards. I was embarassed at how controlled I was by food. And you’re totally right, some people really don’t understand how digging into the dip isn’t ok.
I continue to marvel at how simple portion control and good choices really are *once* you get over the fear of starting. It was brutal at the beginning. Some days are still a struggle, and I’ve got loads of work ahead of me, but I finally don’t hate myself and that’s better than any Ben and Jerry’s Bender could ever be! Keep it up Linda,
but strawberries and beef jerky? Together??
October 14th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
Wow. Reading all the stuff you guys eat makes me realize how crappy my diet really is. I mean, I always thought I don’t eat THAT bad, but after reading what you all eat (some of which I’ve never even TRIED) makes me realize how much my diet is lacking.
My day so far (without attempting to be ‘good’) was the following:
Breakfast: Dunkin Donuts French Vanilla coffee, with Pumpkin Spice fat-free creamer and two splenda packets
South beach 100 calorie snack bar (peanutbutter/choc.)
Lunch: Split a (rather large) bowl of pho noodles with my daughter
Dinner: in oven now: chicken braised in a balsamic tomato sauce….side of steamed stirfry veggies…I was going to make some rice on the side, but you guys have inspired me.
I plan on having my FRESH START Monday this upcoming Monday, getting back to the gym and eating healthy. I have about 20 lbs I want to lose….I was always tiny and never had to worry about what I ate but two kids and slowing metabolism has put weight on me that I never thought I would have. Growing up I never had to worry about weight, so hence, I’ve not created good habits over the years and have trouble creating boundries for myself.
You guys are giving me some good food/snacking ideas that I never would have thought of. I hope to also get back on track with my fitness blog and keep accountability there as well.
Thanks for the motivation and keep up the good work.
October 14th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
What I wanted: Trader Joe’s Four Cheese Frozen Pizza
What I ate: Linda’s butternut squash soup w/a bunch of stuff that just needed to be thrown in there (from like…day 4? I don’t know).
What I feel: Superiority, Full, Satisfied, Healthy.
Overall net win. Thanks!
October 14th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
Breakfast: Bowl of Kashi with raisins
Lunch: Raspberry yogurt, almonds, apple, Nature Valley granola bars. (I’m prego and I think the baby’s squishing my stomach, because I’m hungry but I get full really fast. Hence the random snacky things spread throughout the day.)
Dinner: Big bowl of yummy chicken lemongrass soup, full of other random CSA veggies we needed to eat up. Slices of whole wheat toast, a slice of cheese, another apple.
Dessert: Dark chocolate covered almonds. And there may be a mug of Godiva hot chocolate in my near future.
Exercise: Half hour walk, stretching.
October 14th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
Breakfast:
- Leftover turkey cutlet wrapped in turkey bacon.
- Large steaming mug of Mexican coffee (not Starbucks).
Lunch:
-Grilled chicken salad (Romaine lettuce, cucumber, carrots, radish, purple onion, and grilled breast meat, tossed with Raspberry vinaigrette.) I only ate half of this because I was rushed.
Dinner:
-8 ounces of roasted chicken leg, thigh, and wing meat topped with spinach artichoke dip
-Five large green stuffed olives on the side.
Snack:
-Bob’s Red Mill granola (half cup), topped with a cup of frozen blackberries and a half cup of frozen raspberries. On top of this, a generous (half cup) dollup of No Fat Vanilla Yogurt on top of which I sprinkled 1 teaspoon of raw cacao powder (this stuff is LOADED with antioxidants, far more than blueberries). Once you get accustomed to raw chocolate’s bitter taste, it’s utterly delicious with something sweet like fruit.
All of the above are organic-sources.
October 14th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
Re: People have told me I should just give myself a break…
Isn’t this eggzactly how we all get started on the slippery slide to hellishly hanging from the kitchen cupboards and fridge door pondering what else we can eat because we DESERVE IT. After all, we ran those miles, had a fight with our S.O., and the plumbing failed today. Hell, we EARNED that bag o’ calories and hormone screwing pie. And how bad can that piece of pie be?
Problem for me is once I’m on one slice of pie, I’m jonesing for a second and third slice, and then a slice topped with something like ice cream. And how about some hot chocolate with that?
Most days I can find ten reasons why I deserve a break from the high road. The trouble is – and if I’m honest with myself – three quarters of my life is putting healthier choices on the back burner while I “give myself a break.” Giving myself a break has been the norm for a good chunk of my life. I’m now hard wired for that rationalization, it seems.
What you said about it not being easy to break from the bad habits is so true. Once you’ve packed on ice cream fat, that fat wants to be fed more ice cream. And fat has its own clock, too. If I eat B&J at 2PM Tuesday, on Wednesday at 2, I’m craving the stuff like a crack addict.
Here’s hoping I can stick to my guns, at least until Christmas.