Conversations While Running
During my 18k run:
Right shoulder: Alright! Let’s get going!
Left shoulder: Yeah, I guess.
Right Shoulder: Here we go down the hill! We’re running, we’re running, weeee!!
Left shoulder: You’re an idiot.
Right shoulder: Half marathon! Six weeks! We’re going to rock it!
Left shoulder: No. No, we’re not.
Right shoulder: Well, I am a little tired and have dead leg and now that you mention it my knee is sore and ankle keeps twinging. But! It’s ok! We’re running 18k!
Left shoulder: This sucks. Why are you even doing this? What’s wrong with you? Why the fuck can’t you just be happy with 5k? Why are you so damn competitive?
Right shoulder: Well…. uh…
Left shoulder: You should just turn around. There’s no way you’re going to break two hours. You. Can’t. Run that fast. Stop running, turn around and go home.
Right shoulder: No. Keep running. Just keep going.
Left shoulder: You look stupid. Everyone who drives by can see your thigh fat when your shorts ride up like that. You think you’re so good just cause you coach a clinic now? What do you know? You know this run is going to hurt and suck and you should just go home.
Right shoulder: It will hurt. This will hurt. If running a half in under two hours was easy for you, you would have already done it. Keep going. Push through this pain, it’ll be over soon.
iPod: Raise a little hell, raise a little hell
Left shoulder: Still. You’re going to fail. You won’t make your goal.
Me: Ah for heaven’s sake – SHUT. UP.
Repeat about every 20 minutes. But: 18km, 1 hour 41 minutes. Breaking two hours just might be possible.