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Tough as a Cotton Candy Snowflake

By Kellyann

I’m just gonna admit it: I’m a weather wimp.

I’ve got a pretty specific set of atmospheric conditions that I consider comfortable, and anything outside of that leaves me grumbling. One of my top Do Not Wants is hot, humid weather, which this summer has been chock full of, much to my sweaty annoyance. When the temp and that blasted dew point start creeping upward, I get uncomfortable and cranky, and when you add in direct sunlight…forget it. I can sort of function in the shade, but put me in the sunshine and I want to dig a hole in the ground, crawl in, and die. (I joke that it’s my Irish heritage; I’m genetically unsuited for hot, sunny weather!)

For years I endured the summer heat and sun for the sake of horseback riding, because I had no choice, but for the last several years I’ve been riding at a place with an insulated indoor riding ring, which is nice and warm in the winter, and nice and cool in the summer. No direct sunlight, fewer bugs, and since everyone else loves to ride in the outdoor ring (CRAZY!), I get the entire indoor to myself while everyone else is outside getting skin cancer. It’s perfect!

One downside to all this blissful indoor riding is that I seem to have lost what little tolerance I had for exerting myself in hot weather. (It’s not all due to wimpiness, though: my asthma makes exercising in humid weather really difficult–I literally can’t breathe.)

I’ve got my first 5k coming up in September, and I’ve found myself fretting about the possible weather conditions with increasing frequency as the day nears. It’s probably obvious that I’m a fair weather runner, rarely venturing out when it’s too hot or too humid or too sunny, and I mostly run on shaded trails. But on race day I’ll be running on city streets with little shade, and I’ll be stuck with whatever the weather roulette wheel lands on that day. What if it’s hot and humid? What if it rains? What if it snows?? (This is Wisconsin. All three are possible.)

A month or so ago I decided it was time to toughen up. There’s a trail near my house, a former railroad grade tricked out in limestone gravel, that offers very little shade (which is why I rarely use it—ugh!) as it cuts across miles of marshland. I decided I was going to run there at least once a week, and I was going to do it when the weather sucked. No more shady trails with soft dirt and water fountains–it was time to grow a pair.

Shortly after I made that decision, Mother Nature obliged by barfing up the perfect miserable day. It rained all morning, and then the hot, humid air moved in, in front of yet another storm system. By the time I got home from work the sun was blazing, and you could practically see the water evaporating off the ground, further saturating the already humid air. Standing motionless on the patio made me start to sweat. Normally, I’d go back into my nicely air conditioned house and get my daily ass-kicking via DVD, but I laced up my little pink running shoes, grabbed a bottle of water, and marched out the door.

It was horrible.

I’d planned to run only three miles, which would have been totally doable under normal (read: carefully chosen) circumstances, but under these waaaay less than normal circumstances, it was a struggle from the first step. I thought I was going to die.

I made it a mile and a half before I gave up and dropped to a walk, dripping, wheezing, water bottle already empty. It was brutally, unbearably hot, and too humid for sweat to evaporate quickly; my shirt looked like I’d been targeted by a firehose, my shoes squished with every step. I felt like I was melting. As soon as I slowed down, the mosquitoes came at me in a swarm, further adding to my misery.

On the way back home, I caught a small break from the relentless freakin’ sunshine (it’s full of vitamin D, which stands for “despair”) when a roiling mass of dark clouds lumbered in from the west. Thunder began to rumble ominously off in the distance, and I half-heartedly picked up a plodding shuffle. I’ve run in the rain before, and don’t really mind it, but I do try to avoid being struck by lightning (success rate so far: 100%).

As I turned the corner toward home, where I intended to tongue kiss my A/C unit and throw away my disgusting shirt, it began to rain. Oh, did it rain. And rain.

I’ve gone out on that same trail (which I not-so-affectionately refer to as “Satan’s Treadmill”) a few more times since then, and none of them have been as bad as that first one, but some were petty yucky. The last few days have been cool and dry, which gives me hope that by the time race day rolls around I’ll luck out and get some good running weather. Even if I don’t, it does make me feel a little better to know that I put some effort into preparing for the alternative.

Does anyone else have weather or temperature issues? Do you purposely expose yourself to challenging conditions to prepare yourself for events? Or am I just a masochist?

6 Responses to “Tough as a Cotton Candy Snowflake”

  1. Cari Says:

    Yes. Me. I also hate the heat. I try to run in the mornings before it gets unbearable (I live in Minnesota, so I feel your sweaty pain). I ran the Great River Ragnar relay a couple weeks ago and my last leg was in the middle of the day. It was hot and humid and it was probably the worst run I have ever had.

    Knowing that an event will be in less-than-ideal conditions, I will try to do a couple runs during the same kinds of conditions, but if it’s too hot or humid I won’t bother. I figure the event is punishment enough. :)

    Good luck on your race!

  2. Leandra Says:

    I’m doing a boot camp workout and we’re always outside. And of course I started in the summer when it was 100+ heat index and 95% humidity – the hottest time of the year, in other words. In the past that would have been a deal breaker, but now I see it as kind of a challenge. I try to stay safe and not get too hot, but I kind of love it when the sweat is pouring off of me. It kind of makes me feel like I’m really doing something, you know?

    Now, that’s not to say that I won’t be THRILLED when fall and winter get here, because I totally will!

  3. Nikki B Says:

    Bless you for writing this post. I keep going for runs after work, around 4, in blazing sunshine and soggy air, and feeling like I’m a giant wuss and I suck at running. NO! It is the weather’s fault. I’m in Milwaukee too and yesterday was so humid, it was on the brink of rain the entire time I was out there and why wouldn’t it just RAIN already so we can get some RELIEF, etc.

    I feel your pain, is what I’m saying, and thank you for reminding me I’m not the only one. I see too many people out on the paths making it look effortless – well, they’re sweaty, but they don’t look like they’re about to keel over, as I do.

  4. Kellyann Says:

    @Cari: I believe you’ve had it worse than us this summer–I hope you are getting the same respite we are right now! So far the extended forecast for race day looks decent. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

    @Leandra: My hat is off to you, because I would probably faint after five minutes under those conditions. You are some kind of alien from a lava planet, right? :)

    @Nikki B: OMG we need a sekrit crappy WI weather handshake. Has this summer not been awful? (I mean, it’s hot and awful most places, so it’s not just us, but UGH!) It’s so demoralizing, even when I tell myself it’s not just me, it’s the weather. I made so much progress on distance and speed last summe, and this summer I’ve been lucky to just not lose ground.

    And I know you must have been miserable yesterday–I had a horseback riding lesson yesterday, and my horse and I were both soaked.

    This weekend looks to be nice (finally!). I hope you get a chance to take advantage of it.

  5. Francesca Says:

    I can’t believe people prefer the outdoor ring to the indoor one! I’m not much for horses, but that indoor ring you described sounds absolutely luxurious. I’m with you — very particular about weather. I hate heat, humidity, wind, rain, cold, snow, too much sun. I’d like to move to a city that’s about 65-70 degrees and partly cloudy all year long. :)

  6. Kellyann Says:

    @Francesca: I actually walked in it during the winter one year when I was coming back from my back injury! It’s full of sand, so it was a nice easy workout, protected from the elements. Plus, it smells like horses! :)

    You would love the weather in the San Francisco Bay area–I did when I lived there. I hated a lot of other things about it, but I really wish I could have brought the weather home with me!

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